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pastwatcher) wrote2006-12-10 01:25 am
pastwatcher) wrote2006-12-10 01:25 am
two one-word stories
Here's the one we just heard, with Michael and Kristen:
Kristen and Michael's one-word story:
Person: Wallace (of Wallace and Gromit, or maybe the Wallace who invented the infinity symbol. It was probably one of those startlingly clear ambiguities.)
Place: The secret garden-courtyard of Lowell
Thing: A slightly cracked heart
Once upon a time in a valley far far away in the depths of a large dark scary forest, there lived a very extremely awfully precociously aged wizard who repaired used wristwatches. His name was Arthur. Arthur loved to poke at small objects like wristwatches. One fine day, Arthur found himself watching a wristwatch as the watch ticked and stopped. Arthur wondered: "What is time? There seems to be no physical manifestation of this concept. "
"I must capture Time in a bottle," declared Arthur.
So he took his magic wand and set out to find a manifestation of Time. He journeyed far and wide and long upward out of the scaary dark forest and the valley. One afternoon as Arthur walked briskly along a well-trod path, he encountered a place that was kindof a sort of thing like a secret garden. He was entranced by this garden and decided to investigate its properties. Once he entered the secret garden, he realized that he had entered another dimension, which was grey and smelled of peppermint. It frightened Arthur.
"Where is the way out of here?" he exclaimed.
[creepy windy voice] "There is no way out!" came the reply.
"Who said that?" said Arthur.
"I did," said the dark and deceptive voice from the dimension, who was known as WALLACE, Dimension Lord of Ultimate DOOM and destruction and vague unhappiness. But Arthur was undaunted and he replied, "You must come out and let me see your dimensionness. "Very well," hissed the voice of Wallace, dimension lord of etc."
"Attack," the sound of squirtling rent the air as the dimension emerged. Arthur watched in horror as his captor became visible.
"What foul demon are thou?" he cried, ungrammatically but quaintly, and Wallace told him, "I am the keeper of the slightly cracked hearts."
Arthur squeaked in alarm for he knew that the keeper of slightly cracked hearts was terrifying. The populace of the lands of men and women and children and animals and other creatures were fleeing the countryside for fear of him. He backed away pertly from the terrifying keeper.
"You must staay with mee foreverr!" squarqled Wallace. Arthur hastily raised his magic wand and said, "You'll have to /make/ me, foul demon! For I don't like slightly cracked hearts! They're ugly and difficult to deal with!"
"I liike difficult!" responded Wallace, who /did/ like difficult.
So Arthur chanted a ancient thrall. As the demon advanced, Arthur's thrall came out as the tentacle of Destiny. Wallace drew his demonic sword and confronted the tentacle of destiny.
"Hiya!" he growled and slashed at the tentacle, which evaporated.
"Aww," said audience members. All but one one brave audience member, who was watching this scene decided she was the long-lost sister of Wallace. [sic] She charged forward into the other demon and cried "Arthur! I'll defeat my brother's sword! For he is too evil and annoying and generally he bothers me. I don't much care for his antic or his slightly cracked obsession."
"Thank you!" said Arthur, as Wallace's sister Esmeralda defeated Wallace.
Esmeralda turned to Arthur and said, "How nice to meet you. What's our next adventure?"
"Well," said Arthur, "I was wondering if we could capture Time."
"Oh, said Esmeralda, Time is just around the corner, in a secreter courtyard where it sleeps under the poplar trees." "Excellent!" exclaimed Arthur, who was a hairbreadth away from being entranced by Esmeralda until he realized that he was not her species.
"Oh well," thought Arthur. "How shall I capture this manifestation of Time?" he asked quickly.
Esmeralda replied, "The secret to capturing manifestations of Time is to be aware of their vulnerability." "which is?" prompted Arthur, which vulnerability?" Esmeralda replied, "Their secret vulnerability is actually that they can be simply defeated by a well-placed adjective." "Un-believable!" [supposed to be "an" something, but Michael has a strange accent] exclaimed Arthur, who proceeded to attack Esmeralda with kisses. He knew that he could capture Time. Then he proceeded to capture Time with the adjective "Normative" and their story came to an end in thirty short seconds in the garden in Lowell and they lived happily ever after. The end.
The moral of our story is: When you attempt to capture a manifestation, never be caught by a demon or his sister.
And here's the one with Michael and Kaitlin at the end of October
One-word story
Milk&Cookies: October 28, 2006
Kaitlin&Michael
Space, space, space, space
Un-thing: space devourerMax
Once upon a time in Sumeria there lived a king named Nerelepatep. The servants of king Nerelepatep all wore purple underwear because of N.'s law that stated "No commoner shall ever /ever/ EVER /EVER/ gaze upon the green fields of my underwear." N. was kinda drugged.
Anyway, elsewhere, in Chicago, there was a physics professor named Dr. DOOOM, WHOO had a master plan to take control of our eggs. Dr. DOOOM planned to use these eggs to build a SILON egg which had to bring forth a /new/ /superior/ form of life, namely the fantabulous space devourer! Dr. DOOOM was hopeful for the plan to succeed because he had a secret weapon from the cache given him by king N. This cache contained gold, jewels, punctuation, adverbs and a bomb known as the SPACE-bomb.
"HAHAHA!" laughed Dr. DOOOM. "I shall /never/ stop with my master plan."
"Avast!" cried Jack Sparrow. "I will foil your master plan as I have a special and amazing and cinematic thing in my pocketses."
"What?" Said Dr. Doom. "Has anyone got a magic hat?" Dr. Doom was secretly a wizard. Anyway, he reached into his cache and brought out some /adverbs/!
Frenetically Jack sparrow successfuly quietly ducked swarthily under the adverbian table and thinking quickly, pulled out his trusty android! His android, whose name happened to be not David but another name which was the Conquerer Max. First of his line, he dived at Dr. DOOM shouting "I will foil your plan of evil eggs and speak like this and be awesome and I will have no sex with your mother!"
"Drat!" Said Dr. Doom, "my plan may hinge on you having sex with my poor mother! But not to worry, I'll think of something to foil you foiling you repeatedly!" So Dr. Doom called in the elite special agents Smith from the Matrix.
"No Mister," said Agent Smith. "What can I do for you? I am Sean Connery." "Sorry," Sean Connery-Smith said.
Dr. Doom pointed at Max and said "You must kill this android conqueror!"
"Okay," said Sean Connery-Smith.
He pulled out his plasma diary and opened to page 12.
"Not page 12!" Said an outsider who happened to be wearing a red feathered shirt over his interesting purple underwear.
Sean Connery-Smith read these words from the Diary. "Today I went to Spain and ate crabapples. It was a treat."
"That's your weapon?" asked Max.
"Oh, course not!" said Connery-Smith. "I just wanted you to know that I like crabapples!" Then he blew Max up.
"Now I will defeat you too!" Sean Connery said to Jack Sparrow.
"Oh really?" said Jack Sparrow. He pulled out a very small object, namely a special magic amazing /hat/.
"ooooh," said Dr. Doom. "I want a hat like that!"
"Really?" Jack said. "I can give it to you if you stop Agent Smith!"
Dr. Doom considered this for a moment and then said "Okay, but you have to promise that you won't stop my master plan with the eggs."
"Okay," said Jack Sparrow. He gave the hat to Dr. Dooom but first he watched as Dr. Doom zapped Agent Connery-Smith with his /gamma/-hat (one more hat that we forgot to mention).
"So," said Dr. Doom, "Now I will /take/ these eggs and /consume/ SPACE! /space!/ space!"
"How, precisely, are eggs going to consume or, indeed, devour anything?" asked Jack Sparrow, who was an expert on eggs. "Huh," said Dr. Doom. "I hadn't really thought about that part yet. Oh well, let's play Kinasta."
"Okay, said Jack Sparrow, but first we have to go to the spaceship because we must go to SPACE /space/ space because there is a SPACE devourer there."
"Sure!" said Dr. DOOM, "let us get my hat." And they got his hat. Yes. Indeed. The hat mysteriously turned into a giant space devourer and devoured them, leaving nothing behind!" The end.
The moral of the story is: If you collect hats, you should take them off to prevent space devourer disguises.
Oh, and a general note to a couple of people about a couple of things--I'm not /always/ scheming, sometimes people do the right thin on their own... :)
Kristen and Michael's one-word story:
Person: Wallace (of Wallace and Gromit, or maybe the Wallace who invented the infinity symbol. It was probably one of those startlingly clear ambiguities.)
Place: The secret garden-courtyard of Lowell
Thing: A slightly cracked heart
Once upon a time in a valley far far away in the depths of a large dark scary forest, there lived a very extremely awfully precociously aged wizard who repaired used wristwatches. His name was Arthur. Arthur loved to poke at small objects like wristwatches. One fine day, Arthur found himself watching a wristwatch as the watch ticked and stopped. Arthur wondered: "What is time? There seems to be no physical manifestation of this concept. "
"I must capture Time in a bottle," declared Arthur.
So he took his magic wand and set out to find a manifestation of Time. He journeyed far and wide and long upward out of the scaary dark forest and the valley. One afternoon as Arthur walked briskly along a well-trod path, he encountered a place that was kindof a sort of thing like a secret garden. He was entranced by this garden and decided to investigate its properties. Once he entered the secret garden, he realized that he had entered another dimension, which was grey and smelled of peppermint. It frightened Arthur.
"Where is the way out of here?" he exclaimed.
[creepy windy voice] "There is no way out!" came the reply.
"Who said that?" said Arthur.
"I did," said the dark and deceptive voice from the dimension, who was known as WALLACE, Dimension Lord of Ultimate DOOM and destruction and vague unhappiness. But Arthur was undaunted and he replied, "You must come out and let me see your dimensionness. "Very well," hissed the voice of Wallace, dimension lord of etc."
"Attack," the sound of squirtling rent the air as the dimension emerged. Arthur watched in horror as his captor became visible.
"What foul demon are thou?" he cried, ungrammatically but quaintly, and Wallace told him, "I am the keeper of the slightly cracked hearts."
Arthur squeaked in alarm for he knew that the keeper of slightly cracked hearts was terrifying. The populace of the lands of men and women and children and animals and other creatures were fleeing the countryside for fear of him. He backed away pertly from the terrifying keeper.
"You must staay with mee foreverr!" squarqled Wallace. Arthur hastily raised his magic wand and said, "You'll have to /make/ me, foul demon! For I don't like slightly cracked hearts! They're ugly and difficult to deal with!"
"I liike difficult!" responded Wallace, who /did/ like difficult.
So Arthur chanted a ancient thrall. As the demon advanced, Arthur's thrall came out as the tentacle of Destiny. Wallace drew his demonic sword and confronted the tentacle of destiny.
"Hiya!" he growled and slashed at the tentacle, which evaporated.
"Aww," said audience members. All but one one brave audience member, who was watching this scene decided she was the long-lost sister of Wallace. [sic] She charged forward into the other demon and cried "Arthur! I'll defeat my brother's sword! For he is too evil and annoying and generally he bothers me. I don't much care for his antic or his slightly cracked obsession."
"Thank you!" said Arthur, as Wallace's sister Esmeralda defeated Wallace.
Esmeralda turned to Arthur and said, "How nice to meet you. What's our next adventure?"
"Well," said Arthur, "I was wondering if we could capture Time."
"Oh, said Esmeralda, Time is just around the corner, in a secreter courtyard where it sleeps under the poplar trees." "Excellent!" exclaimed Arthur, who was a hairbreadth away from being entranced by Esmeralda until he realized that he was not her species.
"Oh well," thought Arthur. "How shall I capture this manifestation of Time?" he asked quickly.
Esmeralda replied, "The secret to capturing manifestations of Time is to be aware of their vulnerability." "which is?" prompted Arthur, which vulnerability?" Esmeralda replied, "Their secret vulnerability is actually that they can be simply defeated by a well-placed adjective." "Un-believable!" [supposed to be "an" something, but Michael has a strange accent] exclaimed Arthur, who proceeded to attack Esmeralda with kisses. He knew that he could capture Time. Then he proceeded to capture Time with the adjective "Normative" and their story came to an end in thirty short seconds in the garden in Lowell and they lived happily ever after. The end.
The moral of our story is: When you attempt to capture a manifestation, never be caught by a demon or his sister.
And here's the one with Michael and Kaitlin at the end of October
One-word story
Milk&Cookies: October 28, 2006
Kaitlin&Michael
Space, space, space, space
Un-thing: space devourerMax
Once upon a time in Sumeria there lived a king named Nerelepatep. The servants of king Nerelepatep all wore purple underwear because of N.'s law that stated "No commoner shall ever /ever/ EVER /EVER/ gaze upon the green fields of my underwear." N. was kinda drugged.
Anyway, elsewhere, in Chicago, there was a physics professor named Dr. DOOOM, WHOO had a master plan to take control of our eggs. Dr. DOOOM planned to use these eggs to build a SILON egg which had to bring forth a /new/ /superior/ form of life, namely the fantabulous space devourer! Dr. DOOOM was hopeful for the plan to succeed because he had a secret weapon from the cache given him by king N. This cache contained gold, jewels, punctuation, adverbs and a bomb known as the SPACE-bomb.
"HAHAHA!" laughed Dr. DOOOM. "I shall /never/ stop with my master plan."
"Avast!" cried Jack Sparrow. "I will foil your master plan as I have a special and amazing and cinematic thing in my pocketses."
"What?" Said Dr. Doom. "Has anyone got a magic hat?" Dr. Doom was secretly a wizard. Anyway, he reached into his cache and brought out some /adverbs/!
Frenetically Jack sparrow successfuly quietly ducked swarthily under the adverbian table and thinking quickly, pulled out his trusty android! His android, whose name happened to be not David but another name which was the Conquerer Max. First of his line, he dived at Dr. DOOM shouting "I will foil your plan of evil eggs and speak like this and be awesome and I will have no sex with your mother!"
"Drat!" Said Dr. Doom, "my plan may hinge on you having sex with my poor mother! But not to worry, I'll think of something to foil you foiling you repeatedly!" So Dr. Doom called in the elite special agents Smith from the Matrix.
"No Mister," said Agent Smith. "What can I do for you? I am Sean Connery." "Sorry," Sean Connery-Smith said.
Dr. Doom pointed at Max and said "You must kill this android conqueror!"
"Okay," said Sean Connery-Smith.
He pulled out his plasma diary and opened to page 12.
"Not page 12!" Said an outsider who happened to be wearing a red feathered shirt over his interesting purple underwear.
Sean Connery-Smith read these words from the Diary. "Today I went to Spain and ate crabapples. It was a treat."
"That's your weapon?" asked Max.
"Oh, course not!" said Connery-Smith. "I just wanted you to know that I like crabapples!" Then he blew Max up.
"Now I will defeat you too!" Sean Connery said to Jack Sparrow.
"Oh really?" said Jack Sparrow. He pulled out a very small object, namely a special magic amazing /hat/.
"ooooh," said Dr. Doom. "I want a hat like that!"
"Really?" Jack said. "I can give it to you if you stop Agent Smith!"
Dr. Doom considered this for a moment and then said "Okay, but you have to promise that you won't stop my master plan with the eggs."
"Okay," said Jack Sparrow. He gave the hat to Dr. Dooom but first he watched as Dr. Doom zapped Agent Connery-Smith with his /gamma/-hat (one more hat that we forgot to mention).
"So," said Dr. Doom, "Now I will /take/ these eggs and /consume/ SPACE! /space!/ space!"
"How, precisely, are eggs going to consume or, indeed, devour anything?" asked Jack Sparrow, who was an expert on eggs. "Huh," said Dr. Doom. "I hadn't really thought about that part yet. Oh well, let's play Kinasta."
"Okay, said Jack Sparrow, but first we have to go to the spaceship because we must go to SPACE /space/ space because there is a SPACE devourer there."
"Sure!" said Dr. DOOM, "let us get my hat." And they got his hat. Yes. Indeed. The hat mysteriously turned into a giant space devourer and devoured them, leaving nothing behind!" The end.
The moral of the story is: If you collect hats, you should take them off to prevent space devourer disguises.
Oh, and a general note to a couple of people about a couple of things--I'm not /always/ scheming, sometimes people do the right thin on their own... :)