devilish parody idea

Please, please can I get help with this?

I want a parody of "Popular" from Wicked, to do with law school or some sort of sell-your-soul recruitment. I don't have any specific lyric ideas, it's just the attitude, and the part that can be basically lifted:

"When I see depressing creatures
With unprepossessing features,
I remind them on their own behalf
To think of
Celebrated heads of state or
'Specially great communicators!
Did they have brains or knowlege--don't make me laugh!
They were popular!" (modify that last, of course.)

I can't write parodies myself, but I'm looking at dergnoam, thekinginyellow, ophblekuwufu and you other parody-writers...

and then I could sing this, in the spring! Or get someone else to. Whee!